About me – Fire, Ice, and the Faint of Heart

So, this is me. A 40-something-year-old Indian living in Iceland. An útlendingur. [ˈuːt.lɛn.tɪŋ.kʏr]. What is an útlendingur? The simplest definition in Icelandic is maður í eða úr öðru landi, which translates to a person in or from another country. The reality of being an útlendingur, however, is far more nuanced and complicated than a simple definition and warrants further examination.

Why a blog, you ask? Why can’t you just go to therapy or keep a diary like a normal person? Good question! The answer lies somewhere in the overlap of putting my skills to use, honing them, finding my voice, sharing my voice, learning to leave shame behind, and using writing as a form of catharsis. 

Why do I need catharsis? Who doesn’t? 

What do I intend to post about? Everything and nothing, really. My musings and experiences with various things: learning the language, driving, dating, having children, and so much more. 

Who is this blog meant for? Anyone who wants to read it, really… If it resonates, read it, leave a comment, share, recommend, talk about it… If it doesn’t — leave it be.

Whats all this about the faint of heart? Another good question. You’re just chock-full of good questions, aren’t you?
Iceland is typically associated with raw natural beauty, being in the great outdoors, living a hardy life. One could infer that it’s not the best place for the faint-hearted to be their best selves.
I grew up as a woman in India. A girl in my family — sheltered almost to the point of being spoiled. Somewhat privileged among those less so. I was educated and considered to be of liberal upbringing, “allowed my freedoms” as long as I colored within the lines, “allowed to have an opinion” — as long as it didn’t drown out the opinion of those in authority. Dark-skinned in a country where fairness is a known obsession. Based on extensive self-examination and introspection, I am what one could call an over-thinker, a fraidy-cat, someone who tried her whole life to fit in, to curate herself, to be less, and also somewhat lacking when it comes to hardiness and enjoyment of the rough outdoors. A lot of these traits could be attributed to someone faint of heart.

Then I moved to Iceland, and found that the shoe was quite on the other foot. I was completely unsheltered in the land of Ice and Fire. Somewhat less privileged, with an education that held no value to anyone but myself, I found myself somewhat traditionally-inclined in a far more open-minded society. Theoretically I was my only limitation, and the lines that I needed to color within (and I’m told they exist) are perhaps in a color that I am blind to.

Ironically and somewhat unexpectedly, this faint-hearted útlendingur “found herself” in Iceland, and finds herself thriving here. While the road has been full of bumps, and the journey has not always been fun, I’ve learned a lot and met some truly great people along the way. This blog is meant to be something like a human library — a pause in the journey that’s nowhere close to being complete or decided. I hope it will be enjoyable for both you and me.